GBMC NICU Father's Day 5K and Father's Day

For the last two years, since Jace and Eliana were born, we have started our Father's Day at GBMC participating in the Father's Day 5K.  This event is done to raise money for the NICU; exclusively for the NICU to provide them with the equipment needed to save the life of any baby that has to enter the NICU.  This event is something that Brian and I plan to participate in; attend; raise money for, every year.  The NICU holds a very special place in our heart for all they did for Jace, Eliana and us.

The biggest reward going to this event is getting to see the nurses and doctors that became our family during our months there.  I get butterflies when we get there.  Not the "I'm about to run a 5K" butterflies (I walked the mile: Brian ran the 5K); but the butterflies that you feel when you are about to see people who mean the world to you; people who became your family, people who you look up to and admire; people who know a part of you that most others don't.  It's really really special.  No one wants their baby to be born early or start their life in the NICU or live their entire life in the NICU.  But, if it happens to you, you form some very special bonds with people  you otherwise never would have met.  Brian and I talked after about the fact that we love starting Father's Day this way.

Thank you to those who joined our team and who donated money!  Thank you to those who attended the event also!  Brian ran the 5k and kicked butt as always:)  Carey walked the mile with me and the kiddo's and helped push the stroller.  Justin and Karen ran the 5K (and also kicked butt)!  We also walked with my sister, Diana and her NICU graduate, my niece, Maggie! 

Alexis.  I talk a lot about her:)  I was most excited about going to this event for Eliana to see Alexis (and vice versa) and of course so I could see her!  The best part: I got to spend pretty much the entire time with her.  Alexis is an incredible nurse, an incredible person and someone we hold very near and dear to our heart.  She IS family.  I know I've said it before but Alexis was there for us in the NICU and really took care of us.  She sent me pictures of the twins the one day I missed seeing them (because of the snow storm).  She came in after Jace had his surgery with the hopes to take care of him that day, but instead she ended up taking care of us because we lost our precious boy.  So, seeing her, getting to walk the mile with her and just talk, meant the world to me.

We got to spend some time with Dr. Pane also.  She was one of Jace and Eliana's doctors and also one of the doctors for Judah when he was born.  Dr. Pane is an advocate for her patients and their families and always was for us and the twins.  I always felt like she listened to our concerns and took them seriously.  She truly loved our babies and wanted the best for them and for us.  She brings an energy to this world that is unique - she is positive but realistic and she puts a lot of effort into all that she does!  Dr. Pane is someone who truly opens her heart to you and takes you in.  It's something I greatly admire.  It was so great to see her, feel her energy and just be around another person who is very special to our family.

And then there is Cynthia!  She was not at the race because she was working in the NICU.  We went up after to see her and it made my heart explode with happiness.  She is so much beauty wrapped up in one person.  She is one of the nurse practitioners in the NICU.  Every time I saw Cynthia I felt safe.  It's sounds weird I'm sure, but she is just that person.  She is sensitive and kind and loving.  She gave me a hug every time I saw her.  She would take the time to talk to us, laugh with us, cry with us...  She is Cynthia; she is real and raw and honest.  I'm so honored to know her and call her family. 

All of the nurses and doctors we saw mean so much to us!  I know I'll leave some out because so many were there but we love you all; Alexis, Dr. Pane, Dr. Helou, Dr. Birenbaum, Cynthia, Dan, Ericka, Joe, Niki, Bea, Beth.  I know again, I left some people out but we love each and every one of you!

Last but not least I want to talk about Brian:)  After all, this day is for him!  I wanted this day to make Brian feel special because he is special.  He is a really great, hard working, loving and affectionate daddy.  He has two daddy's girls who run and crawl to him as soon as they see him; their faces just light up at the sight of daddy!  He is a stepfather to Tey; which is probably one of the hardest relationships you can have; but he does it with grace.  He is a daddy to his newest baby boy, Judah, who looks exactly like him and I'm sure will end up being a daddy's boy too:)  And the daddy to our angel, Jace, who Brian gave enough love to for a lifetime in his 23 days here with us and who Brian lost a piece of his heart to the day we said goodbye.  Every day is a hard day knowing one of our children is not here with us.  But there are days like this that are even harder.  I know it's a happy day in many ways but it's also a sad day and I know Jace was on Brian's mind at all times.  All of our kids are so lucky to have Brian; he is teaching them so much about family and what it means; HIS face lights up when he sees them; and his heart smiles and breaks at the thought of our Jace.  He deserves so much more than I could give him on Father's Day.  He is everything to them and that is everything to me.  I love you, Brian; you are the BEST daddy and all of your kids; Tey, Kiera, Jace, Eliana and Judah love you so very much!

Lisa is 40!

My sister AND best friend, Lisa, turned 40 on May 24!  Judah and I flew there on the evening of the 23rd and stayed until the 27th to celebrate.

In honor of my sisters 40th and just in honor of her period, I want to talk about what a truly remarkable person she is and has always been.

Lisa is a very emotional person.  She truly wears her heart on her sleeve.  It's something I greatly admire.  She truly feels what the other person is feeling.  Her emotions allow her to be sensitive, compassionate, caring and kind hearted.  Those descriptions can't often be used to describe one person, but that is Lisa. 

Obviously, when we were kids we would fight, like all siblings do.  BUT, when times were down, she was always there for me.  Our house didn't always feel safe growing up.  Even in high school, when I was scared, I would crawl in bed with my sister.  She never complained, she was just there for me.  When things got ugly in our house Lisa would stand up to our "father".  If she was scared, you would never know it.  I admire her for her strength and I'm so thankful and grateful to her for being my rock, then and still now.

An amazing mother - and  I don't say that lightly.  Lisa loves her two girls with every inch of her being and you know this by seeing her with them.  She is affectionate.  She is giving to them but also teaches THEM to give.  She is hard on them in all the right ways.  She protects them but at the same time is teaching them their independence.  She empowers those girls and they are SO lucky to have her as their mom.  She is also a second mom to my kids - all that I said above is also true with her nieces and nephews.  If Tey is being a pain in my ass, Lisa will tell him and she will demand respect.  If Tey is hurting she will talk to him, hug him, she is there for him.  Same goes for my 3 littles at home - there is not a day that goes by that we don't facetime to see each other BUT also so she can see Kiera, Eliana and Judah (and Tey if he is not at basketball or one of his other 15 year old "events").  She is there for them.  She was also there for Jace in his 23 days here on Earth.  She came when the twins were born early.  She visited them in the NICU.  We facetimed from the NICU.  She flew up several times to see them.  She flew up when Jace passed away.  She helped me bathe Jace for the last time.  She helped me get him dressed.  She held him and loved on him.  She said her final goodbye to him at the funeral home with Tey and me.  She held Tey in those moments as he broke down.  She held me.  And she let herself break down too.

Lisa knows when I'm hurting.  We can sit on the phone or in person in complete silence.  She knows me.  Like, truly, knows me.  And she loves me for me.  She doesn't try to change me.  We are so much alike and so different at the same time - but again, she loves me for me.

There is so much more.  I can't find all of the words because there aren't enough. 

Lisa is my hero.  I admire her most in life.  She is the person who would give you the shirt off her back if you needed it.  She is the person who will cry with you, laugh with you, give you strength when you have none left.  She is truly remarkable.

Happy 40th Lisa; my sister; my best friend; my soul sister; my rock. 

I carry your heart, I carry it in my heart...