Thursday, February 28, 2019
Monday, January 14, 2019
The Twins 3rd Birthday
It's very hard for me to blog with three crazy little ones at home and one crazy teenager who has a lot of basketball games. The twins birthday was 1/10. 3 years old - I can't believe it. I can't believe it's been that long since I had them and almost 3 years since I lost Jace.
Eliana is incredible. She talks just as well as Kiera, has the cutest belly laugh, she is HILARIOUS, extremely smart, strong, vibrant and has a major attitude that makes you laugh! I forget sometimes how much fight she had to put in to survive in her early months of life. More specifically, her first few weeks of life. She truly has been a fighter since day 1. I look back at pictures and can't believe where she came from. Looking at her now, you would never know.
At this point, Eliana doesn't require physical or occupational therapy. I do some exercises with her at home because she does have weakness on her right side. She has been diagnosed with "mild right hemiplegic cerebral palsy". When I first read the words, "cerebral palsy" I was confused. My limited knowledge of cerebral palsy were of the more advanced levels. But, I learned, there are also very mild levels, which is what Eliana was diagnosed with having. Her diagnosis will most likely not limit her in any way. Her development is on point and the only "issue" she has is with her right side weakness. Honestly, you can only really tell if you're focused on it. I noticed because I'm her mom and with her everyday. So, it's safe to say, Eliana Jade is a force to be reckoned with!!!
Jace is missed beyond measure. The fact that Eliana turned 3 and Jace didn't get to is something that is hard for my heart to live with. Knowing that their birthday just passed also means the day Jace passed away is approaching. 23 days after they were born, he was taken away. Leading up to their birthday I was having very clear images of the day they were born, the days in between and the day Jace died. I remember last holding him, before he got sick, on January 30, 2016. I was planned to hold Eliana that day but couldn't, so I held Jace, and I now know there was a reason that happened.
There is not one day that goes by that I don't wake up thinking about Jace and not one day that goes by that I don't go to sleep thinking about Jace. He is always on my mind. This 3rd year was harder for me for some reason. I'm not sure why. Everything I read about grief says it comes in waves...so I guess this year was a new wave.
Jace will always live on through Eliana. In her heart, her soul, her eyes. It goes without saying, Eliana and Jace are each other's half. In life, in death, they will always be bonded.
Happy Birthday to my twins. One on Earth and one in Heaven. Both always together in spirit and always always always in my heart.
Eliana is incredible. She talks just as well as Kiera, has the cutest belly laugh, she is HILARIOUS, extremely smart, strong, vibrant and has a major attitude that makes you laugh! I forget sometimes how much fight she had to put in to survive in her early months of life. More specifically, her first few weeks of life. She truly has been a fighter since day 1. I look back at pictures and can't believe where she came from. Looking at her now, you would never know.
At this point, Eliana doesn't require physical or occupational therapy. I do some exercises with her at home because she does have weakness on her right side. She has been diagnosed with "mild right hemiplegic cerebral palsy". When I first read the words, "cerebral palsy" I was confused. My limited knowledge of cerebral palsy were of the more advanced levels. But, I learned, there are also very mild levels, which is what Eliana was diagnosed with having. Her diagnosis will most likely not limit her in any way. Her development is on point and the only "issue" she has is with her right side weakness. Honestly, you can only really tell if you're focused on it. I noticed because I'm her mom and with her everyday. So, it's safe to say, Eliana Jade is a force to be reckoned with!!!
Jace is missed beyond measure. The fact that Eliana turned 3 and Jace didn't get to is something that is hard for my heart to live with. Knowing that their birthday just passed also means the day Jace passed away is approaching. 23 days after they were born, he was taken away. Leading up to their birthday I was having very clear images of the day they were born, the days in between and the day Jace died. I remember last holding him, before he got sick, on January 30, 2016. I was planned to hold Eliana that day but couldn't, so I held Jace, and I now know there was a reason that happened.
There is not one day that goes by that I don't wake up thinking about Jace and not one day that goes by that I don't go to sleep thinking about Jace. He is always on my mind. This 3rd year was harder for me for some reason. I'm not sure why. Everything I read about grief says it comes in waves...so I guess this year was a new wave.
Jace will always live on through Eliana. In her heart, her soul, her eyes. It goes without saying, Eliana and Jace are each other's half. In life, in death, they will always be bonded.
Happy Birthday to my twins. One on Earth and one in Heaven. Both always together in spirit and always always always in my heart.
"Grief only exists where love lived first"
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