A Butterfly Paused: my hands and my heart

As imagined, with three little ones and a teenager at home, life is very busy. YES, my hands are full (as everyone likes to ask) 💕 But, so is my heart.

The summer has flown by and Tey went back to school today. I am NOT the mom who has been looking forward to school starting back up. I am dreading the stress of homework, grades, and the busy hustle and bustle in the mornings and afternoons. But, we are there, so I'm trying to get organized!

Tey will be 16 in just 3 months - OMG! AND he can get his learners permit on September 13th. AAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Tey is doing great though. He had a busy summer playing basketball, riding bikes around, hanging with friends and helping me a lot with the littles. He has grown so much... SLOW DOWN.

And that is life. It just keeps going. It's been 19 months and 4 days since Jace took his last breath. I don't think about him any less. My sadness has not faltered. I look at Eliana and think about how he should be right there next to her. Reaching his milestones right along with her. I think about how she should have him here. How we all should.

We went to NC for a week to visit my sister and family and we had the BEST time... I hate leaving. Being around my sister is like being home for me. Being around her and her whole family. It just feels right.

Eliana is doing really great - she is walking now, which is huge! She does have a little bit of a drag/limp in one of her legs so the doctor is keeping an eye on that. We'll go back in two months and if it's still there she will be sent to ortho. She is an amazing talker - far advanced for her age - I like to think that is the "old soul" in her....and also Jace. My sister (and everyone) always talks about Eliana just having a sparkle in her eyes - there is just something there. And I agree. It's strength for all that she's been through and seen and it IS Jace shining through her. She moved up to the toddler room at her school, and as always, makes everyone laugh:)

Judah is doing great - he is getting so big (I called him our Judah Buddah) and is 7 months old today! We believe he was colicky in the beginning because truly all he did was cry. He couldn't be comforted and it was so hard! But, he has finally turned a corner (a couple months ago) and is such a happy happy boy!

Kiera is also doing amazing! She moved up to the 3 year old room at her school and is loving the new toys to play with! She is SUCH a threenager, with a little attitude. She tries to be a second mom to Eliana and Judah, which is adorable, and she is such a singer and dancer! She is also potty-trained which is HUGE! We are still working on the poopy part but we're pretty much there and can say she is officially potty-trained!

And that's life in a nut shell right now. Pics of the kiddos are here and some from NC, and as always, I've included Jace, my baby boy in Heaven.