Judah Cole Gorman

Brian and I both thought we were done having babies after we found out we were pregnant with the twins. Our ORIGINAL plan was to have one more.  Then SURPRISE we were pregnant with twins. It was a shock and we were very scared BUT once we made it through the shock faze we were beyond excited.

Fast forward to January 2016 - we had them early and then February 2016 we lost our Jace.

No one can ever replace Jace.  No one can.  No one will.  He will always be our one and only Jace.  Our second son.  Our third born.

The decision to have another baby was not something we took lightly.  But, we were both thinking it before we ever even spoke about it.  The first time we did speak about it, I don't remember who brought it up, but I know the other said they were thinking the same thing.  At this point, we didn't know if this was the grief talking.  If this was us thinking/wishing we could bring our Jace back.  So, we knew we weren't ready to make the decision.

Then we decided.  We decided we wanted a 5th child.  Boy OR Girl - we didn't care.  We knew another baby would be HANDPICKED and given to us by Jace.  We were and are scared.  That is something that will never go away.  But we knew this was what we wanted.

And when it happened - it happened quick.  We were VERY lucky to be able to conceive this baby very soon after starting to try (I know many others are not so lucky).  I thought this baby was a girl.  The entire time - until we found out - I thought girl.  Quite a few others thought boy, including Brian.  We found out early because of genetic testing that we were in fact carrying our 3rd boy - our youngest son - this son who we know was picked by his big brother, Jace in Heaven.

We decided on the name Judah Cole - Brian actually came up with it - and I fell in love.  It is a beautiful name AND it also honors Jace.

Judah does not replace Jace.  Judah is Jace's little brother.  Judah is our rainbow baby.  We have Jace to thank for that.